Which Son Are You?
Rediscovering the Father in the parable of the Prodigal Son
If you only met my mom late in her life, you probably picture someone frail and quiet. You probably don’t picture the woman who dressed up as Madonna on a Carnival cruise and sang “Like a Virgin” in front of the whole ship. But that was her too. How well you know someone depends on how much of them you’ve seen.
The same is true of God. Jesus once told a story about a father and two sons who both lived in their father’s house, yet neither one really knew him. Are we making the same mistake?
Where Our Picture of God Comes From
We all carry an image of God the Father, and most of us picked it up from our own dads. Because we call God “Father,” we tend to project our fathers onto Him. Maybe your dad was harsh, distant, or impossible to please. Even a really good dad is still not God.
We also get it from sermons. Jonathan Edwards’ “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” isn’t wrong, but it isn’t the whole picture. Hear only fire and brimstone, and you’ll miss the mercy and kindness Psalm 103 celebrates.
And we misread our own lives. When something goes wrong, we ask, “God, why would You do this to me?” Sometimes what we’re blaming Him for is just the consequence of our own choices.
Those are the wrong sources. Here are the right ones.
Scripture. “God is love” (1 John 4:8). When God revealed Himself to Moses, He described Himself as “merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth” (Exodus 34:6).
His names. Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide. Jehovah Rapha, our Healer. Jehovah Shalom, our Peace. Each name reveals another side of His character.
Jesus. “He who has seen Me has seen the Father” (John 14:9). Some people picture an angry God and a kind Jesus who steps in and takes the beating to protect the rest of us. That isn’t scriptural in the slightest. Jesus and the Father are one; Jesus just had an earth suit on. “For God so loved the world” (John 3:16). It was love, not anger. Whatever you see in Jesus, His compassion, forgiveness, kindness, grace, and joy, that’s the Father.
Loved Before He Did Anything
At Jesus’ baptism, the Spirit descended like a dove and a voice from heaven said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17).
What had Jesus done to earn that? No miracles, no healings, no disciples. It wasn’t about what He had done, but who He was: the Son.
Romans 8:17 says we are “heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.” We didn’t earn that, and we don’t deserve it. That’s grace. God looks at you and says, This is My beloved son. This is My beloved daughter.
That’s hard to believe, so Jesus told a story for people who struggled to believe it.
The Younger Son
In Luke 15, Jesus told this story to religious leaders who complained that He welcomed sinners.
The younger son asked for his inheritance early, which amounted to saying, “You’re worth more to me dead than alive.” He walked away and chased what he thought would meet his deepest needs for love, acceptance, worth, and security. Then the money ran out, famine hit, and he was feeding pigs.
When he came to his senses, he remembered his father, but only as a provider, as Jehovah Jireh. His picture was too small. He planned to come home and work off his debt: “Make me like one of your hired servants.”
But the father saw him “when he was still a great way off.” He ran. He embraced his son before the boy could finish his speech. Then the father called for three things:
- A robe. A festive garment, like the ones given to wedding guests. It covered his shame and every wrong he’d done.
- A ring. The family signet ring. Servants and slaves didn’t wear one. He’d probably pawned his, and his father put it right back on: You’re my child.
- Slaves and prisoners had their shoes taken away. Only free people wore them. You’re free.
No questions, no judgment. This is the Father many of our earthly dads could never be, and it’s exactly how Jesus wants us to picture God.
The Older Brother
Some of us never ran off. Tina and I got saved young and stayed in church our whole lives.
The older son heard the celebration and refused to go in. He was the faithful one who never broke a rule, but his relationship with his father was built on obedience, not intimacy. Listen to him: “These many years I have been serving you.” That’s a resume, not a relationship.
So the father went out to him too and pleaded with him. He simply said, “Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours” (Luke 15:31).
Many of us live the same way, as if we have a Father who never gives. “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2). The older brother was home, but he needed a homecoming too.
Which Son Are You?
Both sons had the wrong picture of their father. One thought he had to earn his way back. The other thought he had to earn his keep. Neither knew how much he was loved.
Maybe you’ve put off praying after blowing it, hoping God would forget first. That’s not how He works. “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). He runs to the one far off, and goes out to the one close but distant.
He lets us choose how to live: estranged in a far country, as a servant in the field, or as a son or daughter at His table.
“I Love You, Ryan”
Years ago, a friend and I went to the beach to pray. We split up, each asking God to tell us something. I came to the Sea Turtle Inn, where a concrete wall was covered top to bottom in giant graffiti: I LOVE YOU, RYAN. I knew it was God speaking to me.
My friend wanted to see it, so we drove back. The wall was completely clean.
I’d been a Christian for years. I would have told you, of course God loves me. But that was the first time I truly believed it.
The same voice that spoke over the Jordan speaks over you: Look at My daughter. Look at My boy. I delight in you. If you don’t know that God loves you, ask Him to show you.
Come home. Be a son or daughter.
Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version.